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The Day I almost Died

By Jade Bonterra

When I was 19, I moved to Fortuna California to be with my boyfriend of 5 years, John. At 19, you don't really realize the character elements that you want in a mate and this was part of my process for determining if this was the person I would spend the rest of my life with.

The morning of that fateful day started similar to most: wake up, make coffee, eat breakfast, go to school, which for me was a Junior College not far from Fortuna. It was the first day, I had the confusion of finding out where classes were, what teachers expected, getting my books, and trying to fit in to a place where I knew no one. John worked at Safeway, and so school wouldn't be a part of his life.

The night before John had said to me "why are you bothering to go to school? You'll never be an engineer. You should just marry me and be barefoot and pregnant". For someone who has always done well in school and had made the difficult decision to become an engineer, this was quite a blow. Not because I believed him (fortunately) but because I realized he didn't support my goals. This created quite division in my thinking: do I follow love of this person, or do I follow my dream? I was so torn, I wished for a sign of which direction to go.

After school, I went home and made a roast. It was the first one I had ever made before, so I followed the recipe precisely. The roast had to cook for 3 hours so I started it at 3:00. Just as the roast went into the over, John and his friend Doug staggered in totally drunk. They had the idea that we should all go to the beach (near Ferndale) and drink more. I refused. I was only 19 but I was not about to get into a vehicle with two drunks. They thought my refusal was funny, so they picked me up like a sack of potatoes and threw me into the back of the Jeep, which had only a milk crate for a seat. I started to cry because I was so scared, and that fueled attempts to see how scared they could get me. I screamed for them to let me out, but they drove on, laughing, swerving on purpose and driving off the road because it made me so afraid.

At Ferndale, we turned on the wet, winding road to the coast. Doug continued to swerve to terrify me and it worked. At some point, he decided to see how fast he could go around a corner (on the wet road, with faulty brakes on one side). He lost control and the Jeep turned sideways to the direction we were going, and started to roll and bounce. I had the thought "I'm going to die right now". There was glass breaking and I was being thrown all around the vehicle because I wasn't even on a seat, I was on a milk crate.

When I woke up, I was in the middle of the road. A lady had my head in her lap and was moving the hair out of my eyes. She told me she had seen the whole thing: the Jeep losing control, me being thrown out of it (through a window or door) and the Jeep BOUNCED OVER ME. She thought I would have been smashed flat but by some miracle, the Jeep bounced over me and missed me. The impact to the ground did break my pelvis, and I had scraped along the ground in so many places that I was pretty bloody (I still have a scar on my forehead from a gash there), but I was alive. I couldn't move my legs, which was terrifying, but I was honestly so grateful that I wasn't dead, that I though being paralyzed would be a price I would pay. I also thought, "well, this is a message, isn't it". I knew that once I recovered, I would leave John and find someone who would be better for me.

For the minor details:
-The roast burned to a crisp. I had asked the police officer who asked me questions in the hospital to please have someone turn off the oven so my house wouldn't burn down. He thought I was delirious at first, but after several repeats he realized that I was totally coherent.
-Doug and John were barely hurt, each with a small gash in their hair. This seems to be very typical of drunk drivers.
-Doug went to jail that night and lost his license.

I moved home with my parents and eventually recovered from all my injuries. I missed a semester of school, but I got back to it and got an AS degree from Sierra College in Rocklin. I went on to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, and received my Mechanical Engineering degree. I also have a Masters Degree in Engineering Management from Santa Clara. I now have worked in the aerospace field for 24 years, and married the best man I ever met. I did get pregnant, late in life (when I was 40) and we have two wonderful children.

I can't recommend a near-death experience for everyone, but I can tell you that it has been something that I learned so much from. Every day I wake up is a good day and I still feel happy to be alive every single day. I have an appreciation for life and living that was enhanced, that day I almost died.

What a fantastic story, Jade. How precious is every day?? Sometimes, we don't know, until we either lose or almost lose life itself.
Thank you for sharing this story.
Keep up the good work.
Best wishes.
Frederick

I have always spoken to young people about the need to get to know each other before making a commitment. The most striking aspect of your story, and one which many young people can learn from, is the fact that you 'thought' of a boy as your boy friend but, after five years, you didn't really know him.

It must have been shocking for you to discover that the boy you gave up so much to be near was actually a brute and a drunk. I'm so pleased you did not let this discovery make you bitter against all young men. Congratulations.

Thank you for your kind words. Quite often in relationships, we overlook the negatives to the point of our own destruction. Literally, in my case.
Sometimes, I am surprised how far people make it into relationships, with some fundamental issues not being addressed. Kids, careers, where to live, how to handle money, respect for parents and so on. When we're young, we don't always think these things through.

Wow. What a lucky escape. You're an engineer? Awesome, and congratulations on your success.

You know, this may sound weird, but I kept worrying about the roast you left in the oven. It must have been burnt to cinders. Not that it makes any difference.

When I was writing the intel, I meant to close that question, because it was sort of funny. As I was being rushed into the emergency room, an officer was asking me questions about the accident, and I kept saying "there's a roast in the oven". Finally, I said, "I am serious, there is a roast in the oven and it's going to catch on fire and burn my house down, will you please send someone to my house to turn it off?". They did. It was smoking but not yet on fire.

Sandy Davison Nov 4, 2010 16:10

Great intel Jade. Thank God you survived that terrible nightmare. Congrats on your wonderful accomplishments. Im glad you were able to find a good man who believed in you.

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